Carla has been on my mind — especially these past 10 days with the heartbreaking suicides of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain. I first met Carla after reading her book, No Time to Say Goodbye. I sent an email to Carla expressing my gratitude and she replied with an invitation to meet for breakfast the next time I was in New York. We soon became close friends and I thank her for her guidance in my darkest of days dealing with the onslaught of my life sentence. I am indeed a Phoenix rising.
Suicide. Talking about it doesn’t cause more suicides or prolong the grief. It’s when we keep depression and suicide a deep, dark secret that it becomes worse. Carla Fine is working to change that. She brings suicide survival from the darkness into the light, speaking frankly and with compassion about the overwhelming feelings of confusion, guilt, sadness, shame, anger, and loneliness that are shared by all survivors.
Like me, Carla lost her husband to suicide. In No Time to Say Goodbye, she describes the most personal side of her story, as well as the stories of more than 60 people who lost sons and daughters, wives and husbands, fathers and mothers, sisters and brothers, friends and relatives to suicide. The life sentence for survivors is real, it’s harsh, it’s relentless. Carla helps people through the stages of grieving and see that they are not alone.
Carla is the author or coauthor of eight other books, including Touched By Suicide: Hope and Healing After Loss, written with Dr. Michael Myers, one of the leading clinicians in the field of suicide. She has appeared on numerous national television and radio programs, including Oprah Winfrey, Court TV, Fox News, and New York One. She is currently working on a book about women and resilience, a topic near and dear to my heart.
With each new report of a suicide, we are reminded so shockingly again of the silent pain people often suffer alone. The pain from those suffering from depression who die by suicide does not go away – it only transfers to the loved ones they leave behind. Reach out to those you love. Ask questions. Hug them and give them unconditional love. Always know there is help both to prevent it and provide support for survivors:
Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 or text TALK to 741741
Suicide Survivor Support: American Foundation for Suicide Prevention